Giving up the Past

Page 7-a mariime cadet's story

Visions of you brings many thoughts of the past

As the years have gone by so fast

Seems like it was just yesterday when we first met

Now the vision of our love is all I’ve got left

I want to tell you so badly how I feel…

The indescribable feelings are still so real

Yet there are things that hold me back from telling you

For there’s a new lover in my place and he already owns you

I long to hold you one last timeKiss those soft lips that used to be mine

I’d give anything just to rewind

Back when I’m yours and you were mine

Although I know this is wishful thinking

For the love once strong reach its ending

I’m now moving on but still wondering why

Better than before, it was a lot easier to cry

Maybe I have foreseen something like this would happen

And I was able to prepare my heart in the end

Or is it true that what bothers me now is real

That somebody else owns now what I feel

That my affection was bounded to another

But right at this moment, I don’t want to think ‘bout this matter

There’s much more things that are suffocating my mind

And I need to face some while I left others behind

So anyway, I’m bidding my farewell, my last goodbye

Albeit I know this would bring more tears to my eyes

I will move on and I will soon be okay

There’s no need to worry for this is what I have to say

Soon enough I’ll be able to forget the longing

Leaving the past behind us and bringing new memories of meaning

I don’t need to wonder where would we be today

If I didn’t leave you and let us go in separate ways?

I have to let you go now even if it’s easier said than done

Holding on seems more sensible but this is what to be done.

This note was supposedly directed to my first love… yeah my first love, Clariza… one night, I have a dream… about me and my classmate… although unexpected, I’m craving for it so much for this is one of the most wonderful dreams I have so far… the weirdest thing about is that I cried when I was dreaming it although I love it. This might be due to the fact that this is a dream I know that was so impossible to happen in the real world. I was still thinking about this when I remembered that something like this happened before. I cried back then not because that dream can’t happen but because I was not that good enough for the girl before… that was my first love. That’s how I remembered her… I try to contact her and ask how she’s doing only to find out that she was already married… yeah, she was married already. In just a span of one year, she was totally gone from me forever. The hardest thing I can’t accept about that is why not any of my friends, which I asked before to watched for her, told me about this. Another thing is that right now she already had a child and guess what..? The name of the kid carries my name… what do you think will I think? I was totally dumbstruck at that time that I almost hate the world for what is happening to me. My next move back then was telling my classmate that what I felt before for her was only a farce. Because I still felt that my heart still belong to my first love. It’s so weird that when we think that we already love a person it was then that we learned that our heart still belongs to the one we left behind. This move turns out to be easier because I have done already the first move of forgetting what I feels.